撰写
湿婆和帕尔瓦蒂的狗粮段子
【萨蒂是萨克蒂女神的人间化生，是众生之主的小女儿，梵天的孙女。
帕尔瓦蒂是萨蒂的后世，是雪山神王的女儿，恒河女神的妹妹，别名高丽。】
1、
清晨到来，被吓坏了的梵天对湿婆说：“勿将乳海毒液吐出，将它留在喉中！”
胜利归于面红耳赤的湿婆：他的嘴唇上沾染了黑烟灰。
注释：湿婆的嘴唇上沾染了黑色的烟灰是因为他在夜里亲吻了帕尔瓦蒂的眼睛，烟灰是帕尔瓦蒂用来描眼线的。梵天看到湿婆嘴唇上沾染了黑色，以为他不小心将乳海的毒液吐出来了，所以吓得要死。
2.
胜利归于毗迦雅嘲笑的湿婆；他掌心的水原本要献给晨曦，
却被作他手镯的蛇饮得见底，谁叫他心思全放在高丽脸上。
注释：毗迦雅是帕尔瓦蒂的女友/女使，她看到湿婆早上捧水朝初生朝阳祈祷，但因为湿婆只顾着看帕尔瓦蒂的脸，连掌心的水被手腕上的蛇喝掉了都没察觉，便嘲笑湿婆的失态。
3.
瞥见高丽面影，湿婆身体震动，掌中水全洒落，汗又将手注满。
胜利归于湿婆所捧的那泓清水！
解释：在祈祷之时，湿婆看到帕尔瓦蒂的脸倒映在了掌心的水中，一个激灵便不小心将水都洒了，但因为激动而流出汗水，又将掌心注满。
4.、
湿婆已然知晓爱人红唇滋味；诸天众神不过是群懵童钝夫。
他早知晓剧毒甘露一体两面，因此独独饮下毒液又有何妨。
注释：这里的意思比较复杂，一说湿婆知道毒液甘露实际上都是乳海产物，一生一死，实为一体，得其一必然也得到另外一面，因此饮下毒液和饮下甘露并没有差别；另外一个解释则完全就是狗粮了，因为他已经知道帕尔瓦蒂的吻是什么滋味，那对于湿婆来说才是真正的甘露，因此他并不需要乳海里的甘露，完全可以坦然饮下毒液。
5、
爱有何无法成就之事？蛇蜕曾叫她害怕惊颤，如今她安眠依靠之枕，是湿婆臂上蛇冠所成。
注释：指帕尔瓦蒂从前就连看见蛇蜕都会害怕，如今则睡在湿婆胳膊上，湿婆臂上的蛇头冠仿佛成了她的枕头，指对湿婆的爱能让原来娇养的帕尔瓦蒂战胜了恐惧。
6、
被湿婆当作赌注的那一弯新月，谁能知晓它在掷骰中价值几何？
因此雪山女儿才会撅起下嘴唇，作为她为回击一搏押上的宝物。
注释：含有甘露的新月是无价的，湿婆将其作为赌注有耍赖的意味，因为帕尔瓦蒂拿不出对等价值的宝物；但帕尔瓦蒂自有应对之道，她撅起嘴唇是在提醒湿婆，对他来说她的吻/嘴唇也如同甘露，因此和新月价值等同，她有和他对赌的资本。
7、.
那被湿婆当作圣线使用的那迦，盼望着女神有朝一日生气发恼，
她丰如水罐的胸脯因为汗毛直立而粗糙，因她拥抱造成的痛苦滋味仅这那迦知道。
注释：也就是说帕尔瓦蒂拥抱湿婆的时候，被湿婆当成圣线的蛇（那迦）总是被帕子的胸挤压得非常痛苦，所以它唯一的盼头就是帕尔瓦蒂和湿婆闹别扭。
8、
曼娜心生欢喜，诃利露出微笑，
山王别转开脸。此时湿婆颤抖的手，
叫婚礼延误了片刻。
注释：因为湿婆手发抖，没法好好完成新娘手上系线的仪式，造成婚礼耽搁了，看到湿婆失态，曼娜（岳母）觉得湿婆爱自己女儿而开心，毗湿奴也露出大舅哥的笑，山王（岳父）觉得尴尬，只好别开脸装作没看到。
9、
新月啊，你缘何骄傲，你因立于湿婆头顶而满足，
但这给你带来的唯一好处，是让你扫拂高丽足上尘土。
注释：指湿婆向帕尔瓦蒂趴地道歉时新月触及她足的情形。
10、
一昧的顺服产生不了婚姻幸福，年轻姑娘们，这是湿婆的教训，
他以帕尔瓦蒂将自己身体补足，用的全是她那离经叛道的部分。
注释：这里用了双关语，顺服的=右侧，离经叛道、狡猾的=左侧。湿婆和帕尔瓦蒂合体为半女世尊时湿婆在右，帕尔瓦蒂在左，也就是说湿婆用帕尔瓦蒂的左侧补完自己。
雪山神女帕瓦罗蒂在雪山闭关苦行提升神性以接近大天湿婆的水平来匹配婚姻
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